Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Birth Story


Maggie's post inspired me to write mine.

I have to admit that I think Patricia and I were both a little stubborn when it came to giving birth. This obviously was not my first time around, but I was not looking forward to it. The whole pregnancy I was fearing it, as a matter of fact.

Here's a quick synopsis of my previous two deliveries. Tabitha's heartrate was dropping after each contraction, so they induced me. I didn't use any pain medication, but I had nothing to compare the painfulness with. Seth came a week late, but on his own. It was painful, but definitely managable compared with the pitocin induced delivery. Again, I did not take any pain medication.

That leaves us with Patricia. I did not want to be induced. If I was induced I knew it would be much more painful than it should be. The doctors "allowed me" to go a full two weeks past my due date. (Note to readers: I have always been delivered by doctors, not midwives, due to my husband's choosing, for which I am thankful. Doctors do have protocols that they must follow to make sure they aren't sued in the future and their patients don't risk their lives. So, yes, in that sense it was them allowing me and not me allowed to decide what I wanted.) At two weeks late my cervix was still high, I wasn't really dilated and there wasn't much going on in the contraction area. I went into the hospital bright and early in the morning. They started off with some cream that went onto my cervix and was supposed to soften things. This in and of itself can sometimes trigger labor. After two applications and no increased activity I unwillingly allowed them to break my bag of water. For many hours (about 4 or 5) my contractions were coming every four minutes. I was not progressing, my cervix was still high, nothing was going on.
At this point they were able to coax me into starting pitocin. That's when the pain I had been dreading began. After approximately 3 hours I just could not bear it any more. I have always been afraid of getting a needle in my spine, so I readily accepted some form of narcotic they were able to shoot into my IV in it's place. It was just about an hour later that I was pushing. There was a pretty funny moment in there for me. Patricia must've fallen asleep because of the drugs, but she woke up and moved around as if to say, "Alright, already, leave me alone, I'm coming out now." By that point, my narcotic was wearing off. Now, anybody who's ever been in a delivery room with me (i.e.-Enoch, my mom and hospital staff), knows that at pushing time I scream my head off saying I don't want to push. Mind you, my first two deliveries I would actually push while screaming this. This time was different, I was tired from the drugs, tired of being in labor and I DID NOT WANT TO PUSH! Be that as it may, she was born at around 2 am Feb. 6. She did her crying thing a little. When they cut her umbilical cord she screamed. They tell me that the babies can't feel it, but she wanted to know where her next meal was coming from. Nursing began shortly afterwards. She's the only one of my three who was born without the cord wrapped around her neck.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Judge not, lest ye yourselves be judged.

I used to think that it was wrong for married people to prevent pregnancy. I still do to some extent. I often passed judgment on other couples: "Why didn't they start having kids yet? Or why did they stop? Don't they know children are a blessing? A reward? A joy?" I thought that it was all a matter of trusting in the Lord and most people simply had the wrong priorities.

Well, here I am three kids later and at the end of my rope. Physically, my body seems to handle pregnancy quite well, although the thought of delivering any more babies makes me cringe. The whole process, including recovery, is painful and becomes more painful with subsequent pregnancies. Emotionally, I am a wreck. My hormones have sky rocketed and plummeted almost constantly since Enoch and I married. I've been either pregnant or breastfeeding (or both) from one month into marriage until now. That causes frequent emotional outbursts. The kids are constantly getting yelled at, which usually results in me crying. My poor husband comes home from a long day's work and has to deal with his feisty Irish/Cuban wife always ready for a good argument. Oh, did I mention how my brain has ceased functioning? Or what about the fact that I'm tired? I cannot tell you how many times people have told me to enjoy each moment with the kids, because they grow up so fast. I am mentally well aware of that, but because of the above mentioned conditions I have a hard time doing so. Don't get me wrong, I love them with all that I have, but that doesn't mean I enjoy my daily shouting matches.

Where does this leave us for the future? We made a decision not to have any more children. We really don't know what will happen. Maybe we'll have an "accident" some day. There is always the possibility of adoption. Who knows, we may even change our minds. Whatever the case may be, I know there are still people who think the way I used to. I am comfortable with the idea of others judging us for our decision. Right now, the only approval I'm concerned about is the Lord's. I have peace with our current decision and I don't think it's unbiblical.

On another note, my throat hurts today because of how loudly I screamed at my kids. I know that's not how I'm supposed to treat them, but my emotions got the best of me today. It's okay, I understand if you decide to judge me for this, I know I'll do the same some day, too.

Recipe for Cole Slaw

Whisk together:
  • scant cup of mayo
  • 1 tbs sugar
  • 3 tbs lemon juice
  • 1/4 tsp salt
Toss in one 16 oz bag of shredded cabbage. Refrigerate for 1 to 24 hours.